Full Power bandwidth :- DC to visible light

Power consumption:- 18 grams of Plutonium/month, as a 38kg ‘nite-glo’ fuel rod

Distortion :- minus 10% THD (48kg/silicon/minute, via distortion exhaust)

Damping factor :- 6.023 * E23 (adds approximately 8 minutes to calendar year per hour of operation)

Modes :- Moses/Evangelist/Christian/Islamic/Jewish — all switchable.

Harmonic Resolution :- 1 CH (Only measurable on this unit, defined as the ability to harmonically resolve one strand of carotene per inch of vaginal distance)

• The Black Hole amplifier is a direct-coupled double isolated feedforward over-biased under run parametrically balanced infinity stage amplifier, with the main advantage being simplicity of design and operation.

• All cathodes are directly heated by liquid sodium from the nuclear-powered reactor, and grounded to 18-ton concrete blocks with integral earth strap. Warm-up time for heaters is regulated by mechanism that uses carbon-dating of holy relics.

• The feedback loop utilises a particle accelerator from the nuclear reactor based power supply.

• All capacitors are the sexual film type with extremely low coefficient of friction and high charge and discharge rates. Inductors/chokes are wound on specially developed trout fishing rods guaranteed to stop the big one getting away.

• Active stages utilise dodecaheptode devices with an extremely hard vacuum (mainly due to lack of room for anything else in the envelope). These tubes have top caps fitted to facilitate ease of access to public viewing platform.

• The rear chamber of 90mm Howitzer cannon applies an Ohmic vacuum to any device connected to the output therefore ensuring no impedance is ever presented to the amplifier.

• Transcendental gossamer wiring is used throughout the amplifier for maximum psychological effect and entrapment of flying insects.

Special notes for operation:-

A 50 yard exclusion zone is required at the rear of the amplifier during operation, due to the room needed for the large pit filled with silicon pellets that the distortion vent exhausts into. Also extended operation can contribute to global warming due to physical coupling of output devices to atmosphere.