Hejsa i stuen,

kom lige forbi disse tekster som nogle pladesamlere har
skrevet om hvad der skal til for at være en ægte såkaldt
'vinyl junkie'. Jeg synes der er et par sjove ind imellem.
Kan da genkende et par

og pas så på du ikke bliver smittet også. Det er ret slemt når
først man er ramt



(Tak til Tuberoller og Todd og Edgeroll m.fl. fra head-fi.org)

Prove to me that you are indeed a "Vinyl Junkie". I got a
litmus test for anyone claiming to be a real live "Vinyl
Junkie". If you can answer yes to any five of these,then you
can wear the title of "Vinyl Junkie" (but only until I can think
of more stupid questions to ask)


Have you ever cleaned vinyl while sitting on the toilet(using a
Discwasher brush of course)?

Have you ever fallen asleep while going through a new
stash?

Have you ever spent all night going through a stash
only to realize that it is now 8:00am and you are an
hour late for work?

Have you ever cut your finger on a paper sleeve but refused
to stop hunting for fear of losing your spot?

Have you ever used a paper sleeve to stop the bleeding from
such cuts so that you can continue on?

Is your entire family trained to never interrupt you while you
are cleaning or going through a stash of vinyl?

Do you wash your hands before you handle a clean
record,twice?

Have you cleaned records at work?

Have you taken records on vacation with you to clean?

Have you ever taken your cleaning machine with you to
check out a stash?

Do you keep a cleaning kit in your car?

Do you keep a Goldmine book in your car?

Is your PC start page a Vinyl site?

Have you ever misspelled your own name but never the word Vinyl?

Have you ever cleaned a record with a lick of spit on your fingertip?

Does all the art in your home consist of album covers?

Think of your own if you wish to challenge me


                                      ---


Having to be dragged out of a record store so you don't miss
your flight in 1 hour....

Leaving behind clothes and audio equipment so you can
carry on the new vinyl to protect it and listen to it when you
get home.

Spending all of your food and bill money and then going
home to play them and finding the electricity has been
turned off because this is the third month in a row you have
done this...

Selling everything of value to get the electricity turned back
on so you can listen to the new vinyl - not selling any vinyl of
course...

Buying an album for the 5th time in case the other 4 get
scratched or damaged

Crying when you got outbid for a large quantity of albums
(admit to this - I do)

Shaking crazily seeing a pile of records - or just driving in
the neighborhood with a record store in it.

Planning your next vacation so you can spend a few days
shopping, without the wife, for records (wanna take me???)

skitched out on a date to make the rounds on garage sale
saturday?

kept your clean clothes in your TT box, so that you can store
your vinyls in your dresser (hey the dorm is small)?


                                      ---


missed a bus because you were scanning the entire
warehouse of vinyl at Crossroads Records in Portland, only
to find 20 albums you want, but then realize that to change
your ticket, you must use extra money, so you buy the vinyl
instead, walk across the steel bridge, and then another 10
blocks in the middle of the night, show up at your brother's
house, who, doesn't really have room for you right now, but i
guess you can sleep on the floor, but you're worried about
his creepy friends and how they may gank you new found
treasures so you make a bed in the corner of the apartment
and put the vinyl (not stacked!) against the wall, and
safeguard them all night while drugged out college kids talk
about books n' stuff and all you can think about is getting on
the damn bus the next day and going home and finally
listening to a good copy of "Cheap Thrils" that doesn't have a
nasty scratch at the end of "combination of the two"?


                                      ---


Hello, my name is Greg and I am a reformed Vinyl junkie.

I admit that I used to buy pristine direct to disk pressings
while I was a starving student. I used to squeeze my entire
food budget for the week so that I could buy a new Telarc or
Sheffield pressing. I would clean myself, clean the album,
clean the stylus, apply stylus lube, close the cover, flip the
cue lever, ramp the volume above zero ONLY when the
stylus was seated and the tonearm was stable, and run to
my seat, and listen until either 1) I heard a pop, at which
time I would leap from my seat and repeat the whole
procedure, or 2) Side A was done, at which point I would
leap from my seat, turn the volume down, flip the album,
and repeat the whole procedure.


I admit that I would connect an oscilloscope to check if the
right and left signals were in balance, and adjust the tracking
force and anti skate accordingly.

I admit that I have held hundreds of vinyl pressings up to the
sunlight to check the quality of the vinyl used, and the
dynamic range allowed in the grooves.

I admit that I would rotate my entire (small) collection
weekly to avoid the dreaded warp.

I admit that I would unwarp lost case records in the sun
between two pieces of glass. I also admit that I deliberately
warped a particular disco album at a 90 degree angle, and
then threw it into the woods.


I have been vinyl free for 15 years now. I feel a sense of
freedom, but there is still the curiosity, and the sense of
something missing.......


(Tak til Tuberoller og Todd og Edgeroll m.fl. fra head-fi.org)




mvh